You’re just not giving your face the love and attention it deserves this winter.

Dear boss,

Enough is enough.

Ever since the weather turned chilly you’ve treated us poorly and it has to stop. If you’re going to be a shoving a camera at us, partaking in that strange ritual known as a ‘selfie’, then we deserve some respect.

First of all, we cannot continue to survive on mocha double lattes. We know they warm you up, but we are seriously dehydrated over here. We need honest to goodness came-from-a-raincloud liquid; just because you’re not sweating up a storm doesn’t mean you can skip the H20.

In fact, the only time we get any water based action is when you drench us in a boiling stream of liquid. Dude, once again, we get that you’re cold but the constant scalding showers are washing away our protective oils. They’re leaving us dry, tight, and itchy… and that’s just not a fun time for anyone.

Also, we think you should know that lips are in a pout over their dry and undernourished state.

Look, between you and us we know they’re prone to dramatics, but in this case they might actually have a point. Enough with the matte covering, stop forcing them together like contestants on a reality dating show. They’re dry, chapped and filled with shame. They need some high intensity balm, man. The kind with petrolatum to lock in moisture and dimethicone, to seal off cracks and splits.

So, let’s turn the other cheek and put this (literal) ugliness behind us.


Your face

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