Was the break-up of the strange pairing of socialite Brynne Edelsten and her 70-year-old millionaire husband Geoffrey inevitable because of their age gap?
While the reasons for the split are unknown, reports were of her loneliness, desire to have a baby and her inability to forgive Geoffrey Edelsten for an alleged affair. What I found interesting was the comments and speculation over their age gap being too great and hence the reason for the separation. But if you believe the reports, the 40 year age gap had nothing to do with it.
I reflect on this today because their story has a certain resonance with me. I too have an age gap in my relationship; I’m 8 years older than my husband. While my gap is 32 years shy of the Edelstens, often I am asked am I scared of the ‘gap’, does the ‘gap’ affect our relationship and our decisions and has the ‘gap’ ever caused us any problems. No, no and no. Sure, we know its there, but it’s not the elephant in the room. It really only ever comes up when we have to fill out forms in front of people and they ask if it is a mistake (which I take as a compliment…obviously I must look as young as him) or at a BBQ when people want to joke about my Cougarship status. We deal with all of it by owning our gap, not hiding it. For example women live on average 7 years longer than men. While all my friends will be widowed, G and I will be Notebooking it in our retirement village at 100 and 108! Romantic, huh.
Our ‘gap’ may be a little more unusual than others, unless of course you compare us to the Edlestens, in which case we look pretty normal, but the thing is, doesn’t every relationship have a ‘love gap’?
A gap in age
A gap in education
A gap in finance
A gap in ambition
A gap in religion
A gap in politics
A gap in ideals
I could go on and on about the ‘gaps’ different relationships have, I’m sure if you sat and thought about it, you would find a small, or large ‘gap’ in yours. But to me love is knowing what the gap is and not caring about it. Unless you discover the gap is that the other person is a polygamist then you might have problems.
The beauty of life and love is that you really can’t help who you fall in love with. If it is true love you will be blind to the gap, or accepting of the gap or willing to work with the gap. I guess what I’m saying is ‘Mind the Gap’…but take the leap anyway, love is worth it.
Do you have an age gap in your marriage? Do you think it makes a difference? Share your thoughts below.