Wives and girlfriends are being unfairly blamed for the Australian cricket team’s shocking performance.

Be afraid, Australia; be very afraid, because there’s a new enemy in town and they’re looking to stomp all over your nation’s favourite pastime.

Forget terrorists or people who talk in the theatre, the real threat is from a group of women who have been blamed for one of Australia’s most embarrassing performances on the cricket pitch.

Recently, Australian cricketing great Ian Healy came out swinging and blamed the wives and girlfriends of Australian players for contributing to the team’s calamitous start to the fourth Ashes test. The former Test wicketkeeper was in deep head-scratching mode when he questioned whether the WAGs were a “distraction” on tour, after the tourists were bowled out for 60 in just 111 balls before lunch on day one, the shortest first inning in Test cricket history.

But it’s not the first time the WAGS have faced criticism. After all, any group of people nicknamed after the actions of a dog’s tail should be used to copping some flack. However, to place blame on a group of spectators, rather than, say, the actual  professional sportspeople who are paid to whack a ball with a bat, is just as ludicrous as thinking that Donald Trump could be leader of the free world.

The Australian team’s defeat rests solely on their own shoulders, because frankly, how would these dizzy wives and girlfriends even find the time to plot the downfall of Australian cricket between their busy schedule of sandwich making and shoe shopping?

So what would Healy and the rest of these ‘commentators’, both professional and armchair, have the team and their counterparts do? The players have stated time and time again that the reason they drag their lady friends across the globe (because let’s not pretend for a second that slogging it out through airports, hotel lobbies and training centres with a bunch of boys and their bats is the holiday situation that dreams are made of) is because they need the support.

Blaming the WAGS for defeat is like letting your child sleep with a security blanket and then blaming said blanket for the kid failing an exam.

After all, why look to the teachers, study schedule, classroom conditions or even the child’s own ability and intellect when you can blame a blanket that’s calmly sitting in the stands minding its own business. A blanket that would probably rather be kicking back in some sweet air-conditioning than watching yet another bout of cricket.

This metaphor really got away from me.The point is, banning wives, girlfriends and children from the tour is not the answer. If these players are professional enough to represent their country on a global stage and perform at an elite level, then let’s trust them to decide what’s best for them off the pitch.

So stop the blame game. It’s just not cricket.