Reality TV and I have a love-hate relationship.
I love to watch it, but I hate myself for watching it when I could be living my own reality and, like, spending time with my child — or, if I have time after Facebook and cleaning the house, my husband.
But the simple fact is no one is going to watch a show called I’m a Normal Human, Get Me Out of Here — tales of mothers cleaning spaghetti off their tracksuits and being locked in public toilets with toddlers asking them loud questions like “Can I wipe your bottom, Mummy?”
So although I’m loathe to get into Channel 10’s latest reality TV offering, I know I’m just going to love it.
It may have something to do with the handsome host, Dr Chris Brown, but it will mostly be because I want to see celebrities humiliated, I mean, tackling the dangerous wilds of Africa. I am, of course, talking about the Aussie version of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.
Come Sunday night I’ll have the kid fed and washed — the hubby, too. And once they are tucked away in bed I’m going to be hating myself, but loving watching Aussie celebs get nearly eaten by Africa.
Lucky me, I caught up with Dr Chris Brown from the set in Africa and something tells me it really is going to be a wild show.
So where are you right now?
I am in my lodge by the pool, so I’m not doing it tough. I’m looking around the African Savannah and honestly, as a vet, this isn’t a bad gig. This is pretty good.
Does any African animal freak you out?
Probably a leopard, they are ruthless, so strong and great hunters. We were actually at the set today where the celebrities go in on Sunday, and all of a sudden an alarm went off and security guys in full camo gear turned up and I’m like, “Who are these guys?” I was told they are the ‘Jungle Men’ and I was like “What are they, a musical group?” But these are the situation guys, because a leopard just walked through the camp.
So are they going to get eaten?
Yeah, the show needs to be changed to I Was a Celebrity Before I Got Eaten.
OK, so you are a vet and save animals. What if a celebrity — a human — and a leopard — an animal — have a confrontation and are both hurt? Who do you rush to help?
Worse case scenario is the leopard is choking on a human, so my natural instinct will be to try to save the leopard with the blockage. Ha! No, I think maybe one hand on each is the best approach.
Is this show going to just be another predictable reality show?
No, I had a meeting tonight where we were discussing real contingencies for trouble here. It is very real. I know people are cynical about reality TV in the modern day, but I walked though the camp the other day and I got five ticks in five minutes. When it’s dark the jungle floor just starts moving with insects and scorpions. We were doing a mic checks and sound checks and we had to stop for a baboon war breaking out in trees above us. It’s full on and funny.
How are the celebrities feeling?
We have been trying to keep a lot from them, but they signed on for the challenge, they know it’s going to be full on. However if they have watched the UK version filmed in QLD they will be in for a surpris. It’s going to be full on because Murwillumbah ain’t South Africa and it will be very confronting.
What is the show about? How do you describe it?
Imagine the most dysfunctional family camping trip you have ever had, then replace your family with 10 celebrities and a variety of creatures and critters making their life difficult. But you are entitled to laugh! You will learn a lot about the celebrities but also the wild life as well.
And do you like camping?
I’ve done a lot of it but right now I am staying in a five star lodge looking over at the camp the celebrities are staying in, and I think I prefer this. Camping does have its bonuses, but it only lasts about three days before you are ready to come home, so this show will be interesting.
I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here starts Sunday night on Channel 10. For the record, I hate camping, but would make an exception to the rule for Dr Chris…