I should have seen the signs.
I knew it was going to happen one day, but I didn’t think it would be like this. So soon, in public, with no one to console me but the half price Ferrero Rocher stand at the end of the aisle.
Last week, walking down one particular aisle made me realise my baby wasn’t my baby any more. I didn’t think it would happen like this and so soon.
In Rob Lowe’s recent memoir, Love Life, he wrote a beautiful chapter about the fatherly meltdown he experienced sending his eldest son off to college. In it he lamented that he was emotionally blindsided, so much so that he found himself in hidden corners of his home where he couldn’t stop crying. Realising that Rob Lowe has a kid old enough for college had me in hidden corners crying, too. My teenage crush has adult children! Gah, I’m getting old.
But I empathised with the loss and fear he felt sending his greatest achievement out into the world to fend for himself. What I didn’t know is that feeling can hit you at any time without warning during their short time with you.
I still call Millie my baby girl. If she asks for anything, I immediately answer with, ‘Sure baby girl’. To me, she is still that sweet, toothless, chubby little thing attached to my hip that smiles at anyone who looks her way. The reality is anything but.
She walks, runs or somersaults wherever she goes. She talks in lengthy, opinionated sentences about things like gymnastics and my eyebrows. She shuts the door when she goes to the toilet and haughtily tells me she needs ‘privacy, mummy’, and don’t get me started on trying to dress her. ‘I can do it,’ she’ll say tersely, before emerging from her room with every headband I’ve ever given her on her head teamed with every necklace she owns and a flimsy summer dress in the middle of winter.
But I dare not criticise her fashion sense because the mega meltdown about our fashion differences is not worth it; I simply stuff a jumper in my bag ready for when she will ask for it.
She feeds herself now, obviously, and knows what she likes and doesn’t like, and don’t you dare try to hide a pea anywhere. She can sense one like a princess on a pile of mattresses. All these things and more should have warned me that she is no longer a baby, not even a toddler, and yet I didn’t see it until I wandered down the baby aisle of the supermarket. For the first time in three years, I didn’t need a thing.
Not a nappy, a spare Sippy cup or a fruit squeezy. I had no reason to be there. I should have been thrilled; finally I was free of that aisle, no more over-priced items parading as baby necessities clogging up my receipts.
And yet my heart dropped and I wanted to lie on the floor and throw a tanty like a tired toddler – or hide in a corner and cry.
My baby had slipped through my fingers in aisle 10 of Coles and transformed into a little girl.
My granddaughter is 13.1/2months old and I suddenly realised she is no longer a baby when I had to go to the toddler section to buy her clothes. They are babies for such a short time, you need to enjoy every moment.
Hi Emily Jade, .
I had a similar experience but while hanging out the washing of all places. I went to hang my daughters shirt on a child’s size hanger to dry on the line and it slipped straight off. No longer would her baby size hanger hold her clothes. I was left standing at the Hills Hoist, tears in my eyes, staring at her shirt that had fallen to the ground & wondering where the years had gone.
A few years have passed since then & she now sometimes borrows my clothes. You have lots to look forward to!
Cheers,
Eloise
Experincing the same thing… (probably given they’re very similar in age) We’re not allowed to call her “Baby girl…” anymore. She’s a BIG girl now! And in the blink of an eye while we were in Italy she was out of nappies (she’d been ready for ages so it took 2 days she was just a LITTLE BIT stubborn) and in a big girl bed aka the TOP BUNK in Italy…and into her big girl bed as soon as she got back. Cot comes down this weekend
There are so many beginnings and so many endings. I am now at the other end where my two grown boys have left home. My daughter is still at home while she goes to uni, but there is a deafening silence now, a void where laughter, wrestling, banter and just background noise used to be. It is heart breaking everyday. I am crying now. We all speak regularly and as a single Mum raising three kids I am so proud of the adults I have raised, the good people they have become. My nurturing job is done, but my loving and missing them everyday will never end.
Had the exact same moment last week em. Initially I was excited…then def had a moment.