A detoxing from Facebook gave rise to the question ‘was life before Facebook any better’?

I tried a detox a little while ago. I’m not talking about dairy, carbs or wine. I will never break up with them for those three things, preferably together, complete me. It wasn’t food related, I tried a Facebook detox, or Waste-book as my friend affectionately calls it.

I found it had too much of a hold on me. Every spare second I had I was flicking through posts, spamming my friends with pictures of Miss Millie and just generally being a busy body.

It wasn’t until I was bathing my daughter that I realized I had a problem. She was playing tea parties and pouring me cups of tea while I sat and tapped at Facebook when she tried to pass me a cup of warm bubbly water.

“Mama, here is your tea.”
Silence as I flicked.

“Mama, I poured you a tea!”
More silence as I was captivated by something on my little screen, probably a Panda sneezing.

“MUUMM-MA! Here is your WINE!”

It was the ‘W’ word that caught my attention, and it was then I knew I had a problem and I had to break up with my addiction – Facebook.

During the detox, I began to think about life before Facebook and in fact all social media and what our fore-mothers did to share information, or rather didn’t do. I couldn’t help but think of how you would try to explain the phenomena to the ’80s and how silly it would sound to them because the equivalent is ridiculous. My thoughts were one of those notice boards you used to see at the supermarket where people advertised secondhand stuff for sale, ironing ladies and babysitters.

But imagine it Facebook style. After you purchase your milk, you go and check out if Karen from down the road has posted a picture of her holiday to Peru on the board. Oh, look at that! She did, and it’s a lovely picture of her eating the national dish, Guinea Pig. So you get out your pen and write underneath the picture, “Wow Karen, you’re brave, what did it taste like?” You would have to return a few days later to see if she has replied ”Chicken”.

Then you have a dilemma, you don’t know if the new bedspread you bought suits the rest of your decore. So you take a picture, head to the shops and stick it up and write ‘Does this work in my room, does it match the lamps?” Once again you return daily to check out the “comments” to get a verdict.

And what about pictures of your kids? You post the latest Pixie photo and what would people do to show they ‘LIKE’ it? Put a tick underneath it, and you turn up and count the ticks just to feel popular?

Or videos? I’d have to attached a videocassette to the board and encourage people to take it home to watch my cat barking like a dog. Then you’d hope like hell that they bring it back with LOL written on it, and stick it back to ‘share’ it with the next person, who you know a little bit, that you met once through a friend of a friend, but really is a complete stranger.

Yep, the ’80s sure would think Facebook and all who use it are all types of bizarre.

My detox? It lasted a week, I couldn’t be bothered going to the shops to show off pictures of Millie to the man busking out the front.

Do you think YOU are addicted to Facebook? Tell us in the comments below.