Presented with a document to write out in the event of her death, Emily Jade decides to share it and her answers!

I’ve had the great blessing of marrying into a rather large family. My husband’s father had 11 brothers and sisters. His Nan was pregnant for 20 years. As a result the invitation list to our wedding was 175 people. It was a big fat Greek wedding, without any Greeks.

Now you may be pondering why I’m sharing the above with you. Well in an effort to write a well-rounded column on family life, it’s time I moved onto death. One of many aunt-inlaws recently sent a group email to the 50,000 members of our family. The heading was “When I’m gone”. Apprehensively, I opened it to discover she had made a document for us all to fill out and file for the family records in the sad event of our death. The questionnaire was what we wanted to occur at our funeral.

At first I was a little shocked, and then bemused as my eyes flitted down her well thought out questionnaire. Then as I started to think about the answers, I realised it was a great idea. I love planning parties, why not plan the last one I’ll ever throw, and at the same time take some pressure off your obviously grieving family. My gift to you is said questionnaire. Only catch is, my answers are now attached. You’re welcome.

Are you happy to have your organs donated? YES. Come on, do the right thing.

Do you want to be buried or cremated? Stuffed and mounted please.

Where do you want your funeral? I’d like it to be somewhere I really love. Like Westfield.

Who would you prefer to officiate at your funeral? Tina Fey, she does
a great job at hosting everything.

Wood/cardboard/decorated? Decorated, by the twins on “The Block”, thanks.

At the funeral service, would you like a multi-media presentation/home movie/video/a photo board to display? A movie please, directed by Spielberg, narrated by Morgan Freeman and the role of me to be played by Cate Blanchett.

Is there anyone who you would especially like to be invited to your funeral other than the obvious family and friends? There are some family members that I didn’t really like, and now that I’m dead let them know, there is no use wasting their time any longer.

What songs would you like included? After filling this out, I think the appropriate song to play would be “Highway to Hell”.

See you on the other side.