Presented with a document to write out in the event of her death, Emily Jade decides to share it and her answers!
I’ve had the great blessing of marrying into a rather large family. My husband’s father had 11 brothers and sisters. His Nan was pregnant for 20 years. As a result the invitation list to our wedding was 175 people. It was a big fat Greek wedding, without any Greeks.
Now you may be pondering why I’m sharing the above with you. Well in an effort to write a well-rounded column on family life, it’s time I moved onto death. One of many aunt-inlaws recently sent a group email to the 50,000 members of our family. The heading was “When I’m gone”. Apprehensively, I opened it to discover she had made a document for us all to fill out and file for the family records in the sad event of our death. The questionnaire was what we wanted to occur at our funeral.
At first I was a little shocked, and then bemused as my eyes flitted down her well thought out questionnaire. Then as I started to think about the answers, I realised it was a great idea. I love planning parties, why not plan the last one I’ll ever throw, and at the same time take some pressure off your obviously grieving family. My gift to you is said questionnaire. Only catch is, my answers are now attached. You’re welcome.
Are you happy to have your organs donated? YES. Come on, do the right thing.
Do you want to be buried or cremated? Stuffed and mounted please.
Where do you want your funeral? I’d like it to be somewhere I really love. Like Westfield.
Who would you prefer to officiate at your funeral? Tina Fey, she does
a great job at hosting everything.
Wood/cardboard/decorated? Decorated, by the twins on “The Block”, thanks.
At the funeral service, would you like a multi-media presentation/home movie/video/a photo board to display? A movie please, directed by Spielberg, narrated by Morgan Freeman and the role of me to be played by Cate Blanchett.
Is there anyone who you would especially like to be invited to your funeral other than the obvious family and friends? There are some family members that I didn’t really like, and now that I’m dead let them know, there is no use wasting their time any longer.
What songs would you like included? After filling this out, I think the appropriate song to play would be “Highway to Hell”.
See you on the other side.
Very funny and enjoyable.
Thanks Lionel x
No, I did not enjoy the article. To be pedantic the heading “How to tackle your own death” was incorrect, as the subject matter was actually about how to tackle your funeral arrangements (tackling your own death would be euthanasia). I feel that the answers she gave on her questionnaire were flippant and she did not give it the serious attention her Aunt was hoping for. When someone dies, their friends and relatives can feel completely at a loss as to what to do next, how to arrange the funeral service, etc. and following your written instructions can give them a measure of comfort. A flippant reply might give them a much needed laugh, but then they will find themselves still completely at a loss as to what you really wanted!
I agree Dianne, but then Emily is trying to do ‘stand up’ about a serious subject. Good luck to her – that’s what she’s paid to do. I’m sure she will have a private version of the “When I’m Gone” Questionnaire (which I wrote for my loved ones) that she can leave with her will to relieve her loved ones of some anxiety after she’s gone.
Sorry, no I didn’t. I was hoping for a sensible response, one that may have been a guide for us, otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered reading it. Flippant answers are easy but useless for such a serious heart wrenching topic.
Maybe if you were on a legal website, you could complain about her replies – but you’re on a lifestyle website, so lighten up. I enjoyed Emily’s replies. And as someone who is going through the harrowing process of caring for my very sick dad, and will soon be planning for his funeral, it’s given me a few ideas of what I need to sort out with him before the inevitable happens. Thanks for the great article!
I was glad to see someone thinking about this. Yes I was a little surprised by Emily’s answers as this is a serious matter to be discussing. But I took it that she was having a joke and as Annie said I am sure she has privately done a real version. This is a serious issue for most people. liked the questionnaire.
At the ripe old age of 39, I’ve lost children, a parent, a sibling, all levels of extended family and close inlaws. Then there’s list of friends and work colleagues.
If death has taught me one thing, it’s that life’s to valuable to not find joy wherever possible.
Great light-hearted take on what for some, can be a very morbid topic.
🙂
Haha, had a good chuckle at this article and also at the prudish responses from some readers! If you are after serious advise on how to plan for the afterlife, contact a funeral home or a clairvoyant, don’t go ragging on the lifestyle section of a local magazine. (And just in case you missed the humor again, the clairvoyant thing was a joke.) In the meantime, loosen up and get living!