Sometimes you have to step back to really appreciate what you’ve got.
Lily Allen – I love that woman. She is one of my favourite stars. Not because of her music, which is quirky and meaningful, but because she tells it like it is and I love her for that. Her most recent interview had me nodding in agreement and yelling ‘hell yes mother woman right on!’ But then I stopped to think about it.
Let me explain. On a French radio station Lily confessed that she came out of musical retirement because motherhood was boring. And I quote: “I thought I’d be a really happy mum just sitting at home, playing with my kids, that was my dream. I love my children, but I’m a very impatient, busy person naturally. So two babies, neither of them can talk, it was quite boring! ”
At first I thought, finally! A celebrity prepared to tell the truth. Yes, motherhood can be really boring, and if I was truthful to you (and me and my child) besides needing money to you know, eat, I went back to work to:
• Get my brain working again;
• To reignite my identity after it got very, very confused on maternity leave;
• To enjoy a HOT cup of tea in one sitting, not drawn out over three hours, interrupted every five minutes to put on Playschool, or wipe a bottom, finishing the tea when it is dead cold;
• To get dressed up again and not wear the mummy uniform of jeans and t-shirt when I’m out in public and a tracksuit when I’m not.
• And of course I went back to work to afford said cold cup of tea.
But in all seriousness at the time, like Lily Allen, I thought I was bored with motherhood. I thought sitting on the cold bathroom floor for half an hour coaxing a wee out of my L-plate toilet userwas boring. I thought hearing her scream ‘watch me, watch meeeee MUMMMYYYYY’ a thousand times a day only to stop, watch and see her spinning in circles again was boring. I was bored trying to think of an interesting, nutritious and delicious dinner every night that she would actually eat. And if I had to buy one more bowl of imaginary Weetbix from her $2 shop, (everything costs $2, even Ferraris -currency isn’t her strong point) I’m pretty sure my brain was going to eat itself.
But then I went back to work, and all those little things I thought so boring, I MISSED THEM. I missed her little face so proud of eating everything on her plate. I missed her learning a new dance move that progressed from spinning to adding in some weird but wonderful hand flapping movement. I missed it when her $2 shop progressed to pricing things accordingly – a
milkshake was $5 and a Ferrari $10.
No, I have decided motherhood isn’t boring, it’s far from it. What is boring is those that think it is because they are missing the little miracles happening in front of their eyes every single day.
I read with interest while drinking my HOT cup of tea-on that note, I have never been able to understand mums who say they are used to drinking a cold cup of tea- I always sat and drank mine while reading the Albert& Logan News during the ‘break in the day’ 🙂 … anyway, what I want to say is that, I also have never understood the word ‘bored&motherhood’ in the same sentence! 🙂
Never even heard that term when I and my friends were raising ours.
Another factor I find hard this day and age is why women who desperately wanted children, get them and are back at work not long after.
This is not a criticism as I understand coast of living etc but can I just encourage you as a ‘mature mother’ who has just been retrenched due to my role changing, and have raised 3 daughters,with 2 aged 23 &19 still home (!)- enjoy those years – they go so fast! (Now I sound like one of THOSE mothers! ) I worked at our daughters school for 10 years and as a volunteer for all 3. Before that we had our own business working from homeselling library books to schools -both jobs school terms which was great.
when mine started at Preschool, other parents told me what Im now saying to you and other young mums, that those school years go fast so enjoy them. I didn’t believe them and now it’s like yesterday when my kids were there – where did those years go?! I would walk through the school grounds while working and flashbacks to when each of mine were there and the areas where they used to sit with their friends and think…”where on earth did that go?’HOW ON EARTH DID WE GET TO 50??”! ;0
I feel blessed to have been able to be there for every stage of their life-can never take them back.
We are not wealthy as far as society would class as wealthy but chose to sacrifice to keep them in a great Christian College and find work that didn’t take away quality time and have energy to sow into them life lessons and skills. We lost our house somewhere along the way and have been and still are renting – just haven’t been able to get back into the market but the girls were able to stay at the school and up until working at their school, was able to be at home and I wouldn’t change anything about that.
This is just one view point from one of ‘those’ mothers. Please don’t use the word ‘bored’ – its banned in our house anyway 🙂
Now I have time to respond to articles these days but am looking forward to going back in the workforce soon I hope!
I enjoyed your article nonetheless Emily – Motherhood is the most underated and hardest but most fulfilling job on the planet and I realise, that they need us at every stage of their lives – even as young adults as my 25 year old mentioned in her speech at my 50th lately and Im so thankful for that.
Bless ya…
Roxane