Was the break-up of the strange pairing of socialite Brynne Edelsten and her 70-year-old millionaire husband Geoffrey inevitable because of their age gap?
While the reasons for the split are unknown, reports were of her loneliness, desire to have a baby and her inability to forgive Geoffrey Edelsten for an alleged affair. What I found interesting was the comments and speculation over their age gap being too great and hence the reason for the separation. But if you believe the reports, the 40 year age gap had nothing to do with it.
I reflect on this today because their story has a certain resonance with me. I too have an age gap in my relationship; I’m 8 years older than my husband. While my gap is 32 years shy of the Edelstens, often I am asked am I scared of the ‘gap’, does the ‘gap’ affect our relationship and our decisions and has the ‘gap’ ever caused us any problems. No, no and no. Sure, we know its there, but it’s not the elephant in the room. It really only ever comes up when we have to fill out forms in front of people and they ask if it is a mistake (which I take as a compliment…obviously I must look as young as him) or at a BBQ when people want to joke about my Cougarship status. We deal with all of it by owning our gap, not hiding it. For example women live on average 7 years longer than men. While all my friends will be widowed, G and I will be Notebooking it in our retirement village at 100 and 108! Romantic, huh.
Our ‘gap’ may be a little more unusual than others, unless of course you compare us to the Edlestens, in which case we look pretty normal, but the thing is, doesn’t every relationship have a ‘love gap’?
A gap in age
A gap in education
A gap in finance
A gap in ambition
A gap in religion
A gap in politics
A gap in ideals
I could go on and on about the ‘gaps’ different relationships have, I’m sure if you sat and thought about it, you would find a small, or large ‘gap’ in yours. But to me love is knowing what the gap is and not caring about it. Unless you discover the gap is that the other person is a polygamist then you might have problems.
The beauty of life and love is that you really can’t help who you fall in love with. If it is true love you will be blind to the gap, or accepting of the gap or willing to work with the gap. I guess what I’m saying is ‘Mind the Gap’…but take the leap anyway, love is worth it.
Do you have an age gap in your marriage? Do you think it makes a difference? Share your thoughts below.
The “gap” may have been in his finances…their separation was announced with 24 hours of Geoffrey filing for bankruptcy in the States. Ironically when my husband heard he was broke, quipped “I wonder how long it will be until Brynne leaves him?”. Turns out less than a day
True love knows no boundaries and that includes age. Xx
Helen Sands This marriage has been on the rocks for a while. I found it really hard to watch their reality show with the way that Brynne was treated by Geoffrey – how he spoke to her and so on.
Loved your article Emily Jade. I think the truth might be that every relationship has one or even a handful of gaps- some are there to be filled and others are perfect as they are (such as your age gap). I think people make too much of gaps.
Like you, I too have an 8 year gap. We don’t notice it.
My mother always said he’s got an old soul and I’m young at heart.
My husband and I have an eight-year age gap too. It means he likes older music than I do, and that we can laugh about the years he spent discovering alcohol while I was in primary school. Other than that, it plays very little role in our lives. I am, after all, more mature if younger…
My husband is 7 years older, we laugh about it and its not a problem. I love to tease him that I was 3 when his beloved Broncos first started, or in primary school when he was at uni haha, but I think an age gap of 40 years causes a problem – especially if one wants a family and the other doesn’t etc.
My husband is 7 years older than me and it hasn’t been a issue but my 19 year old son is going out with a 32 year old and to me I feel that is too much of a gap at his age but I have learnt to butt out and allow him to make his own choices in life which is damn hard.
My hubby is two years younger than me…it’s not a huge gap but I remember at the time I thought it was funny I married someone younger than my little sister. Wouldn’t have it any other way though. My Nanna was 8 years older than my pop. There met one Thursday, married the next, and we’re happily married for 51 years when pop passed away. Love is above numbers and dates. Xo
My Fiance and I have a 16 years gap and there’s a 16 year gap between me and his oldest son. He’s so adventurous and young at heart that we don’t notice, we are out clubbing til 3 or 4am on occasions and again people only notice when it comes up at a BBQ or some kind of social outing when he says “I was finishing highschool when you were born” and everyone has a giggle and thats it. I just know he love me and I love him and I know he’s going to care of me for the rest of my life as am I of his. So does the age gap really matter? I think it only matters if your going to let it get in the way, would you rather be happy or long to find out what could have been?
15 years difference. We were married 14 years. It took 14 years for her to conclude that I could not pay for all the name-branded hand-bags and labels, actually stating in court that I did not earn enough. I continue to pay for the children’s school book-lists, fees etc. I don’t wear designer sun-glasses.